Recently, I reflected on memories and why some fade while others remain vivid. One of my earliest memories is of a backyard party at my childhood home. My sister and I were playing in a kiddie pool when she got cut. I remember going inside to find a Band-Aid, and when I returned, everyone praised me for taking care of her. However, I don't think I actually found a Band-Aid; instead, I believe I made one. I recall feeling proud that my efforts brought happiness to those around me.
Why does this memory stand out among countless others? I believe it’s because it was a defining moment in my development. It marked a time when empathy and a caring instinct took over.
As an adult, I often question whether this trait is healthy. I tend to prioritize others over myself and have been labeled a “people pleaser,” which I recognize is true. With some perspective, I notice that I feel anxious when I need to put myself first. I struggle to say “no” and work hard to meet others' needs.
When I signed up for my first ceramics class, I felt guilty and a bit selfish for prioritizing my own interests. However, as I continued attending classes, I experienced the positive impact of self-care, realizing that taking care of myself allowed me to be more present for others.
I will always be someone who helps others; it’s part of who I am. But I also need to listen to my own needs and practice self-care. This balance takes effort and constant reminders. Why is it so difficult?